7 Things You May Not Know About the Twin of Someone with Special Needs
Most people know that Sierra and Sienna have been interviewed many, many times about them being such a unique pair of twins. Recently Sierra was asked what question was most often asked of her when being interviewed. She said the one that sticks out the most was “How much do you love your sister?”
It got me to thinking that it’s unfortunate that the question that sticks out to her is really about her sister and not about her. Since most posts cover topics about Sienna, I thought I’d do one from Sierra’s perspective.
1. I’m still a kid. I’m growing up faster than I have to. I feel a natural need to care for and watch over my twin, so I’m growing up faster than most of my peers. So, even though I act older most of the time, give me an opportunity to be a kid, make mistakes like a kid and dream like a kid.
2. I’m still my own person. My twin and I like many of the same things, but we do like some different things and want to do different activities. So ask about me sometimes, not me as the twin of someone special.
3. Please don’t make me choose between you or my sister. Yes, my sister may be immature at times or do things you don’t understand, but please be gracious and patient. I love my sister more than anything in the world and can’t tolerate her mistreatment.
4. We’re individuals, but we’re also a packaged deal. My twin and I understand that we have different friends and that I’ll be attending events with friends I don’t have in common with my twin. However, if you know both of us well and you don’t invite me to something because you can’t “handle” inviting my twin, that’s going to show me your true colors and I will know you’re not really that great of a friend.
5. I feel ignored some times. My special-needs twin gets much attention because she’s cute and she requires additional attention for schooling and some daily activities. I’m a great kid, too. Please remember to see my accomplishments and make sure you say “hi” to me, too.
6. I’m doing my best to find balance. I’m doing my best to discover who I am as a person while being sensitive of and understanding how lost my twin is without me.
7. I worry. I know my life will eventually contain fairly normal situations such as dating, graduation, marriage…and I’m not sure what the future holds for my twin. I worry about growing up and my twin feeling left behind. Please know that I don’t care if you agree with decisions I might make in the interest of my twin on how my life is shaped. I understand that having a twin with special needs requires some sacrifices. I love my life and wouldn’t change it!
Being a twin is a unique bond that I’m blessed to have the opportunity to have.